Sunday, November 13, 2016

going home





passing the disrepaired grey picketed fence
the glance says it was once great white
blistered permanent cheeks from salt spray
hand reaches up to wipe tears from the eyes
that once were a deep inquisitive blue
now clouded with years of disappointments


was it that nothing mattered after all
was it that once poor always poor
was it that even love was dismissed
into the nothingness mists

there have been lonely times chosen for silly rhymes
there have been joys that raised up even the desperate
to view a sunrise that came across the even tops of jagged mountains
there have been epiphanies when realized few breaths stopped short
knowledge that enlightened only the starless skies
yet through all the soul simply skimmed along 
it survived to the dismay of the ego's way

like a soft surrendering shrug of rounded weary shoulders
love blinked love from the liquid that kissed each shore
of a journey that only changes form
when the humanity slips away
poor is poor until there is no more 
but for the soul immersed in knowledge
that love is love and poor is nothing never was

the slow gait ginger across washed sands and jagged rocks
takes the old bent figure into the final sailing
sunsets moonrises shoreline silently waving
no look back as the dark water foams sink into the cloth of torn skirts
sinking into the longest journey done
love is love poor is poor

til there was nothing no more

it all starts over tomorrow for someone
somewhere 
a nation away
or a week from yesterday

the only memory is what is left like salt residue in others' hearts




Monday, October 17, 2016

EHYEH (I AM)



Quiet my ego

Sit with my Soul
in Peace and Harmony of Truth

~ that we are pieces of a whole
and
whole only in fragmented pieces ~

Put together in Unity,
we find tranquility.

So I sit in quietude as my soul
vibrates silently
drawing to and near
in harmonic Unity.

The material then disappear.
Left flowing ~  One in  the Same.

Universal Love.




Thursday, September 22, 2016

veil of tears

the gurgling brook found its way to that little foot

twirling the toes in the coolness as it swirled past

with little stifled giggles lest she be noticed

sun dappling light across her hair

she skipped along the bank as if 

that one drop of liquid might be caught




that was then and this is now




rejoice in the memories revisited as she sits at her window

 a cup full of moon to replenish  Thine evergrowing Heart 

delicate little breath in  ~ rides the faerie to hold with open palms

as if blown from the lips of Love directly infusing  Thy Soul




tears flow ~ a healing waterfall over the edges of a few craggy rocks

rinsed free of the little particles of sand once lodged 

jagged sharps smoothed by Thine veil of tears 




The Heart's Kiss is pure LOVE

welcome Lovely Friend ~ Angel of LOVE




whispers ~ I Love You ~ no matter what






Memories sifted by years
bubble to the surface
reminding of those years
when relationships were with held
becuz adults were unable to get along
and as a little girl
it was confusing
but as an adult
it is now clear.

LOVE no matter what
will always and forever prevail.


Saturday, September 3, 2016

vestiges of human lives




hark

I found some

they be alive

in the mountains

way up high









walking backwards moving forward in circles






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dip my feet in colors of paint 
So that when I walk backwards
The circles I make
Will move me forward
That I might see the whole picture

The day I finally fly


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~











Wednesday, August 24, 2016

meteorites of truth




Her tears crystallized
in the muscles of her soul.

As the muscles spasmed
the crystals fell upon the earth.

Humans decried from fear
we are doomed.  

Heal Thy Heart.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

self doubt


~ on the outside she was ordinary, in fact so common most everyone discounted her existence or at least figured they already knew her better than she could ever know herself ~

Some called out that she was being what she was being to get attention which then left her in further self doubt. What if just being herself was not who she was at all? What if she was nothing more than everyone else's sins taken in so they could move on? What if she was supposed to be one horrible miserable human being?

Yes there are battles being fought but the victory is elusive and the battle is wearing on too long.

They tell her she sucks.
She thinks,
"Yes I probably do."



(unfinished)







Monday, August 8, 2016

my eyes only




tis truth to admit
that everything
yes everything
is filtered through
'my eyes only'
thus any truth
is tainted by
 the teller's perception
which there is no escaping
the singular of the view
it is part and parcel 
of what makes you you
what makes me me
with this epiphany
fully taken in deep
it behooves me 
to try harder 
to understand others
as I hope you might do 
with me too.






Wednesday, June 22, 2016

now






when we knew nothing
we carelessly lived as if
each day meant so little insignificance
brushed by our rush to do what was done
no remarkable acknowledgment of the sun
its rise and cross to its loss ~ gone

in one shattered pronouncement 
all that had been neglected was suddenly
beyond expected 

is this what it takes to appreciate
what is in our eyes' paths
that we then accept from our true hearts

each experience recounted with breaths
inhaled then exhaled
called memories til 
we too have left


Sunday, June 12, 2016

futile



it was as if someone had stuck a huge drain
into the main life vein of my body
the blood escaping silently but fast
leaving me weakened not only physically
but mind and even spiritually
there I sat alive yet dead
uncertain if I cared about even another breath
the will vanished without a trace
the hope no where to be seen
but I unwilling to put words to such
even in my quiet thoughts
wondered if that would keep me afloat

close comes nothing that sucks away not only
blood, breath and thought
but the spirit that was lively 
beyond the human cross

not much left to say
when there is nothing left to hope






~ a fitting piece of music ~ Nessun Dorma (None Shall Sleep) ~




Saturday, June 11, 2016

a parable of the process of life



The storm arrived viciously with next to no warning.
Just a brief smell of foreboding like the initial salt spray 
tossed into the aire then heavily thudding, mixing in with the ocean.

There in the middle rather than the beginning 
the tall ship had to tack her sails then trim.
No time to reflect as the storm wailed 
yet reaction would determine survival
as the tall ship creaked with her age
struggling to stay afloat.

What of weather reports some asked and the response
"none given" in fact total disconnect behind land, shore and ocean.  
Yet the very core of the ship instinctively knew
 brushed aside for the 
desires of her deck to sail into the night to reach days of sunny ports
friendly waving from afar.  

Small cracks became a bit more as the storm raged uncontrollably battering
her stern and her aft 
some pieces of railing were sent hurling into the 
inky dark abyss that had risen up angrily for what.  

But the ship loved the sea
in fact the sea alone
knew the ship's heartbeat.

The sea never knows later why the waves were churned high.  
It only knows it was displaced and swallowed anything in its face.
The ship was not to be done in this go round for its destination had not
yet arrived nor the time had not yet come.

There is no courage in a ship and a sea that does not involve you and even me.  

Perhaps the gentler waves as the sunsets after the storm are a reminder
 that there is life that is lived through the process with connections made
and bridges built that more might cross to be free.

The storm was not the point, the sea and the ship were in need of one another
for their purposes in their lives so either they could cooperate together or struggle against
one another with potential for greater peril.  

Oh for the sea and the ship to know that beyond the storm there is always and forever
the love of mother and son.  The love that wins no matter what.  

The ship loved the sea.
The sea loved the ship.
Both needed one another
to understand 
their plight as much 
as their love.


Sunday, May 29, 2016

Blood Red Poppy Fields



Lay me down upon the hard ground
To hear the Earth tremble
With the mighty feet of a thousand men
Dashing to protect the World again
From a thousand feet of other men

Close my eyes to drift along skies
Filled with the smoke of gun powder
Rumblings of missile carriages fill my ears
My taste buds swollen with murder
Youth taken from duty bound faces

Lay me down upon Poppy clad ground
That my bosom might warm the dead
Whose blood was shed for our Lives
In a fight countries had led
For Freedoms so few understood

Smoke cleared way by thousand year breeze
Sounds silenced by young lives long dead
Freedom found within each head
Mothers left with emptied arms
As the Poppy Fields grow forever ~ blood Red.

Copyright © 2004 by Kate

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

only one, anyway





It is storming.
Rain pouring down
thundering exploding all around
Can't tell if it is even morning.




At that moment she realized
indeed she was alone in all ways
so only what she chose at any given time
really mattered to anyone 
since she was the only one.

Now to redefine what matters
to her alone.
Tis so ~ only one, anyway.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

being "In Love"





yesterday I said good bye to the classroom
I am going to miss every last one of those students
I learned so much from them this year
each one carrying hopes and fears on their faces
taught me how fragile life is
taught me how LOVE can be a part of it all
above everything
LOVE


last night I said good bye to my Mother
she was lucid enough to know more than some might realize
I sat holding her hand while she spoke of things not so recent
and a few things all too recent
her heart right there for me to feel and see
I have learned so much from her 
along with the realization that indeed
she WILL always be a Mother
the children given to her a gift from LOVE
I worry to leave her and my heart holds her close
I can feel the envelopment of 
LOVE


This early morning before even the sun awakes
 I finish packing suitcases
The one for Mr. President I am awesomely  careful
Bathing each item in LOVE 
not just LOVE from me
but LOVE I have already received from many generations
now imprinted upon my heart
the sun shall rise in the East
where I now will go to be with three
who also love with huge open hearts
My goodness Life IS a Circle
Covered in, surrounded by, enfolded with
LOVE

I am blessed beyond measure
and I know the Blessings
with huge amounts of
an attitude of gratitude
for every last person anywhere
who perhaps, some unknown, have touched my heart
given me lessons that increased the LOVE
I am in awe for every last one
tender bits of living dripped into this life
from more humans and other living creatures,
each one now passing gently across my mind's eye
from the eyes of my heart,
than my little mind could have ever imagined alone,
so very many years ago
yet now all comes together to be
the only energy that matters
LOVE


I honestly can say I do not regret any of the lessons learned
I do not find any a burden wished to dismiss  
rather with an understanding far outside an egoic mind
my heart filled with magnificent love
embraces it all
heaving grateful sighs 
wistful memories coming through
as feelings only can wash over the land
so this really is all about awe-striking 
LOVE?!


A single thought awoke me this morning 
"Blessed be the Peacemaker"
then the distant rumbling thunder
ushered my eyes open 
my senses fully awakened
Oh such glorious Love
Love glorious
LOVE!


Thank you LOVE
I Love being "in LOVE!"






Sunday, May 22, 2016

For What?



There are Three sides to every story ~ it has been said.

But this is not about sides,
This is about empathy and compassion
because one knows how it FEELS.

As the years tick off 
the older one gets
the more experiences one has
which in turn hopefully strike chords
within the heart 
that turns back into the mind to remind
of the pain felt similarly
that invokes a deeper understanding
that no amount of negative behaviors
justifies the cruelty visited upon any heart

human beings are mortal
they march to their deaths
from the moment they are born
 if people cast aside their own human "flesh 
and blood" denying them
during that march toward death 
what do they expect to have left 

the question comes forth out of the broken heart
all of this meanness and blatant cruelty
for what?

Has it helped anyone?
Gained anything?
Increased the peace within the heart?
Made any human whole?


there is a deep painful silence
that chimes times twelve
like the midnight square clock
letting the ears know
time passes no matter what
emotional pain is forever
inflicted by reasons long twisted
or even forgotten
death creeps across the land side
not caring whether there were any last good byes
only the humans continuing to reside
have marked their own hearts with scars
then let their words try to justify
hurts they believe were their right to inflict
they are left with a sourness that shows on their faces
as years lead them to the end 
all
For what?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was blessed forever to have had a Grandfather that persevered through some cruel years not once, not twice but three times and yet demonstrated a quiet peace and compassion with empathy that allowed LOVE to shine through to the end.  He taught me so much and gave me that solid foundation so I could make this journey to death learning much about Love.  

He comes to me in dreams still reminding me ~ "Katya you can LOVE no matter what.  Nothing else really matters and the heart pain inflicted upon you only increases your knowledge of LOVE ~ so love no matter what."

"LOVE does not promise no hurts and no heart pain.
It  promises to always and forever
be with you no matter what.
LOVE promises to never reject,
never abandon,
and always increase
no matter what."

LOVE is my guide.  LOVE is my saving grace.

I can wish and hope that you never have to experience so much heart pain.  I can Love you no matter what.  Life is just that short and forever is just that long.


Be well and may you find inner peace
and LOVE increased.


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

bothersome little gnat



ever wonder why a gnat is so clingy
yet such an angry mess


of course the instinct is to smack the creature down
deader than dead


honestly why does that
green eyed bothersome little gnat
keep showing up

is it that disappointed with itself
that it hounds a person


go away 
you bothersome little gnat


one does not even seek it out
it just keeps showing up


the angry nasty disposition
gives itself away 


everything it bitches about
is what it does not like in itself


no amount of trying to reason with the gnat
has met with any success

the gnat is convinced
it is the only real thing in the universe


sadly it negates its own life
by its bothersome fixations

as if anyone would seek out a gnat
twould be the gossiping urge alone


go away bothersome gnat
go find yourself




Sunday, May 15, 2016

alas, born too late




too many waves have crashed against the rocks of time
knowing that the long ago should have been mine
the pleasure of slower passages with  verbosity 
considered blushing the cheeks of birth's harshness
tiny petals of ancient lilacs no longer grown near homes
reminders that soft amores were favored over ignoring


When I read Marcel Proust I float backward to times where I feel familiar
wistfully wishing to have been born and lived along the French countryside
perhaps to walk along side such a creative mind waiting for osmosis to work
wondering if the mind were the seduction that bore forth companionship
woven are the words penned within the fabric of depth beyond dreary
if only I could hear him speak a few of the phrases he heavily crafted

this prior week I sat by her side listening as she told me of her last little hopes
then I knew that motherhood brings no less doubts of good enoughs 
if only I might read to her the overture of her demise from the perspective of grateful hearts
not lonely just wanting to be reassured that whilst alone there was someone who loved her
there was flesh and blood that cared to be present if only to hold her ancient hand 
letting her pass easily comforted by the children that were hers as gifts without end

difficulties with the environment's attitude about this scar it must hold
if only I had been born during the heyday of luscious peony blossoms 
when the sun's light was requested stay away during mid day from soft cream skin
long skirted girls took up sewing, some thick pages of books, tall sweated glasses of iced teas
oh the quiet coolness of the retiring parlor in the heat of a sunny day 
whispers of the author wafting from the pages of the prose


alas, I was born too late
returning to the pages
hiding deep within the passages
my heart beats steady in peace